I became a father in April 2020, a few weeks into the UK’s first COVID-19 lockdown. The challenges of being a new parent while holding down a job during the chaos and uncertainty led to a severe decline in my mental health and, ultimately, to burnout and an anxiety attack.
Parenting on Hard Mode
Fortunately, I was able to be there for the birth but then had to leave my wife and son in the hospital to recover for the first two days of his little life. When I did bring them home, we had to learn how to be parents and deal with a range of health problems without any outside support. They say “it takes a village to raise a child”, but we were on our own.
The first few weeks were chaotic, as I had to look after my wife - who had developed mastitis and anaemia -
and we both had to look after my son - who had acquired a broken collarbone during his ‘dramatic arrival’.
Meanwhile, I had to return to work (from home), and pressures continued to mount.
It wasn’t long before I was burnt out and everything became too much to bear. The resulting anxiety attack meant I had to take two months off work and give up my other responsibilities. It took me a long time – and a lot of hard work and therapy - to recover physically, mentally and professionally.
It was the most difficult time in my life, and its difficult to talk about it, even now.
So, why am I talking about it?
I wanted to share my story, because I think it’s important to break down the stigma around mental health. I also think there is a lot to learn from my experience, and the experiences of others, and that maybe by sharing those experiences, we can make it less likely that anyone else will have to go through what I went through.
I’ve learned that “its better to raise a red flag before you are forced to wave a white one” - by discussing issues early, we can intervene to help stop them from becoming larger problems.
And that’s what ConveRSE is all about; continuing the conversation around mental health, helping people realise that they are not alone, and sharing resources, advice and support to help us look after ourselves and each other.
