Have you ever been working on a project and felt like you didn’t deserve to be there? Chances are, you have experienced Impostor Syndrome; a feeling of self-doubt and inadequacy that is common in the research software community. For a lot of us, it’s just part of the job. But is there anything we can do to alleviate it?
Impostor syndrome
One of the most common questions I’ve been asked when I give my mental health talk is “how do I deal with impostor syndrome?” Common responses to Dave Horsfall’s mental health survey included “not feeling like I belong”, “not fitting in” and “activities outside my comfort zone”. This seems to be a common issue among Research Software Engineers.
And is it any surprise? RSEs and other Research Technical Professionals (RTPs) are often expected to be unicorns. We have to be experts in a range of different technologies. We have to work with world leaders in subjects that we know nothing about, and we are expected to quickly learn enough about these new domains to be able to effectively contribute to a project. And we usually have to do this to tight deadlines, with constantly moving goalposts. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a lot of self-doubt.
But the reality is, we are there for a reason. We know how to engineer software, optimise code, test and deploy applications… We have our own unique set of skills to bring to the table. That is why we are there!
‘Fake it til you make it’
A few people have said impostor syndrome is “just part of the job” and something that you will learn to live with. It’s easy to dismiss this kind of thinking, but I think there is an element of truth to it. You can’t wait until you feel confident to start the work. You have to get started, do the best you can and learn as you go.
You eventually get used to walking into a room full of experts and trying to follow along, making notes and frantically looking things up. And you get over the fear of asking for help and worrying that you’ll look stupid. You learn to ask questions, and that there is no such thing as a stupid question. The stupid question is the one you don’t ask!
So, actually, the advice of “fake it til you make it” is not always as vacuous it may appear!
But is there more we can do?
Strategies for managing impostor syndrome
The main thing I find useful is to take control of the narrative inside your head. You need to learn to recognise what you bring to the table, and how you can contribute to the project.
Here are some strategies that might help:
- Control your self-talk. Try not to think “Everyone here is brilliant, and I’m not”, go with “Wow, everyone here is brilliant – I’m really going to learn a lot!”
- Just because you may feel stupid, doesn’t mean you are. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand something.
- Learn from your mistakes, but don’t dwell on them.
- Remember that you are there for a reason. You have skills and knowledge that are valuable to the team.
- Keep a record of your achievements. When you are feeling down, look back at what you have accomplished.
- Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling. Perhaps your line manager, or a mentor who will understand and not judge you for experiencing these feelings.
(You’ll also find that, as you spend more time with these “brilliant” people, you will start to see that they don’t know everything either!)
Final thoughts
I wish I had a quick and easy fix for dealing with Impostor Syndrome. Unfortunately, it’s something that many of us will continue to face throughout our careers. But by implementing some of the strategies outlined above, we can learn to manage our feelings of inadequacy and build our confidence over time.
Knowing what it is called can be helpful. There’s lots of advice out there on how to deal with it. We will also be compiling tips and suggestions from the community to include on this site. Not all the advice will work for you, but hopefully you will find something that helps.
More
You will hopefully soon be able to find more blog posts on this topic on this blog, by searching for the Impostor Syndrome tag.
Do you have any tips or advice for dealing with impostor syndrome? Do you know any useful resources that you’d like to share? Please consider writing your own blog post or submitting those resources via our Contribute page.
And in the meantime, try to recognise your own expertise and the value that you bring to the team. And, if all else fails, it will get easier over time.
Thanks for reading.
Take care of yourselves.
